Star Light, Star Bright Won’t You Find Me a Home Tonight?

There I lay looking up at the incandescent glow of the moon and stars, millions of them even billions just looking over me; each one with the beauty of a diamond, glistening so brightly. I truly loved the sky, the endless beauty it held, it made me feel safe. Sometimes I wondered if by some mysterious magical way the stars knew my thoughts and knew where I truly belonged. I hoped that when I looked up into the sky, that answers would seem clearer. All I’ve ever wanted was freedom, the feeling of being alive and the feeling of belonging somewhere real. That’s when I finally decided that the only way for me to be free was to run. When a door is closed, another door will open at the right time, this was my time. Why had I felt like this for so long? If people knew how I really felt would they of treated me differently? No, probably not. It was fact that I was the invisible girl in school; I was even invisible to my own family, I was doing them a favor in leaving. Besides, everything happens for a reason and nothing really lasts forever, so why hold on? Was I holding on because I wanted to fight for something, something that seemed like it mattered? But that something was what was holding me back. So I let that feeling go, I had to be free. I quickly got up and jogged to my house to pack. All my thoughts rushing around in my head, I was excited. I couldn’t wait to start on this adventure! Before I knew it I was standing in my room looking through my belongings and finding what I should take. Packing was never a strong suite of mine, but I’d have to say that this time I did a pretty good job. First my betty boop towel I’d bought myself on my 17th birthday, then my pyjamas that were old and fading, I then just shoved whatever type of clothes I had. My Country Road bag wasn’t very big, but it managed to fit the essentials. I then had to sneak past my parents which I knew wasn’t going to be very hard, they hadn’t even noticed I had walked in. They both just sat there perched on the couch watching some ridiculous reality TV show. I wanted to say bye, I wanted them to care; but all I could do was blame them for making me lean towards my decision in leaving anyway. I stood outside my house with my black Country Road bag pressed against my right shoulder; I was ready for this, ready to start feeling alive, to be able to feel like I belonged somewhere and to feel free from all the problems I carried. I looked back at my house; it looked old and even tired. It’s white paint now a creamy brown, and the mailbox merely held on by one screw, the grass so long that it was almost impossible to walk in. As I stared back at it, all I could see were memories from the past 18 years of me feeling trapped and alone. I don’t think I was ever truly happy here, this was never home to me, it was simply a house I was forced to live in, I had no trouble with saying goodbye. I started walking; I didn’t know where my final destination was, all I knew was that there was so much more out there. It wasn’t like I didn’t have any money either, I did I had a lot of it. My fear at that point was whether that money would stay with me, could someone sense my fear and protection of my pocket? I hope not, because what was in my pocket was my ticket out of here, and I needed every cent. Before I knew it I was standing in front of the airport, it was like I’d never seen it before, gleaming over me like a gate, a path towards my next move- the next chapter in my life. I suddenly felt a cold sweat running through my body. â€Å"One way to Chicago please†. What on earth was I doing? And why had a chosen Chicago? I stood there for a few seconds, just stunned at myself, what on earth had I gotten myself into? I took a deep breath and swallowed hard and thanked the lady who was handing me my ticket. It was only then I realised that I was leaving, leaving the only place I ever really knew. There I sat alone in the cold air conditioned room, waiting for my flight. I looked around the room and everyone seemed so happy, kids running around like nothing in the world mattered, young couples asleep on each other’s shoulders. Would I ever be as happy as these people? Why was my life so hard to turn good? Or was it me with the flaw? I realised that asking questions lead me nowhere except to a throbbing head from trying to find answers, answers that probably didn’t even exist. â€Å"Flight 239 to Chicago, please get your boarding passes out and wait in line to board the plane. Thankyou† I guess this was it, no regrets, no fears. Just me and whatever life brings. I stood there shaking as I handed the lady my ticket. I tried pulling myself together by giving her a reassuring yet trembling smile. I was terrified as thoughts ran through my head, all of a sudden I suddenly then felt bad that I never said goodbye to my family. Sure, my family never noticed me but maybe if I gave them a chance to stop me we would’ve been more caring and loving towards each other? I boarded the plane and sat done in my seat, luckily enough I had gotten one by the window. Trying to calm myself down I closed my eyes and remembered all the good and fun times I had at home when life and my family were good and when there were good times and memories. I opened my eyes, only to realise that I had fallen asleep, but something didn’t feel right. I felt cold and light, my body was tingling all over but most importantly I felt relieved. I’d never felt like this before, was I dreaming? No, I couldn’t have been. Everything looked so real, everyone was still on the plane; some asleep some looking scared and worried. I looked outside my window and saw the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen in my life- clouds and we were in them. It was then I realised where I was. I was floating, I was happy, I was unstoppable, I was dead but most importantly, I was home. Was it normal to feel so relieved and alive? Wasn’t that kind of ironic? To finally feel like you matter when you really have no matter at all. I made a choice to get on that plane and I wouldn’t look back and regret it. It’s funny how life is so ironic, but you take what you get and if you don’t like it? Well you learn to adjust; besides everything dies happen for a reason. COMMENTARY In my first assignment some comments made were that I needed to take more care with my wording and punctuation. Throughout my creative writing piece I tried to work on my punctuation by re-reading it and getting others to read and check it for me. My use of syntax was a major factor in my first assignment, I tried to improve this by also making others to read it and seeing if the way I structured my sentences made sense. I also read it out aloud to see if it sounded odd in some areas, this helped me a lot in this assignment. Another comment I was given on my previous assignment was that I wasn’t consistent with my format and my sentences weren’t tightened up. With my creative writing piece I tried to stick to my first person perspective. I wrote my creative writing piece as though I were retelling a story as it was happening, I let the readers get inside the girls head and see what she was thinking and feeling. I thought that this might add a bit of emotion and sympathy throughout my story. In my first assignment I was also told that I wrote a little to much considering the genre, with my creative writing piece I made sure to stick to the word count and that the story didn’t drag on for pages and pages. Some elements that I need to improve in my writing are still punctuation and syntax, these two areas are always a little confusing to me as I don’t tend to know when to put a comma or full stop. I’ll try and improve this by writing more and more, and asking others to read what I’ve written and see if they understand the points I’m trying to get across. My main strength in this assignment was that it was a creative writing piece. I had a broad imagination and can muster up many unusual scenarios from different things. I think in unrealistic ways so I find writing a creative writing piece somewhat fun and interesting. With ‘Star Light, Star Bright Won’t You Find Me A Home Tonight? ’ I made the girl die as that was what she truely needed in the end. She’s a confused young girl who was holding herself back from seeing the world and was too scared to start living her own life. I thought that her death would be ironic to the whole story and plot, as her death was her freedom the one thing she had been waiting for to feel alive. There’s more to living than being alive. I named my creative writing piece ‘Star Light, Star Bright Won’t You Find Me A Home Tonight? ’ referencing to the beginning of the story about her love for the stars and sky, I incorporated that with her desire to finally find a ‘home’, somewhere where she belonged.